Chapter 18Nonverbals
Various studies have shown that the majority of our communication occurs nonverbally.1 In her 2012 TED Talk, Dr. Amy Cuddy cited two studies that made that statement more concrete to me. First, Nalini Ambady (Tufts University), showed people 30‐second soundless clips of actual physician‐patient interactions and had them rate the physician's niceness. Those ratings were able to accurately predict whether or not that physician would be sued. Second, Alex Todorov (Princeton University) has found that participants' judgments of a political candidate's face, after watching for one second, predicted the results of 70% of U.S. Senate and gubernatorial races.
How you say something is part of the message itself, for example, rolling your eyes while saying “Nice job” fundamentally shifts the meaning. What you do with your body (especially your face) has the power to improve or destroy the effectiveness of your speech or presentation, making nonverbal communication skills nonnegotiable. You can't focus solely on saying something but must also work on showing something. A lot has been written on this topic, and this chapter isn't a comprehensive treatment. Instead, I've focused on the skills my clients have found most helpful.
Nonverbal communication skills are nonnegotiable.
This skill is especially crucial because, as I've said many times, the insecurity of communication comes from its uncertainty. Specifically, many of my clients struggle with the uncertainty ...