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110 SPEAKING BEING
come off well, and that reinforces that I’ve got to look good. And it just goes
around and around.
ERHARD
So when you don’t look good, it reinforces looking good, and when you do
look good, that reinforces looking good.
JODIE
And that there’s been times in my life where, that looking good prevents me
from expressing what I want to express. I could go home to my intimate rela-
tionship and I could go home alone and say “okay, at least I look good.”
ERHARD
Yeah. Listen. Your little $625, that’s chicken shit compared to what you just
got from her. You can’t buy that kind of honesty. That’s more insight than most
people are ever going to have in their entire life. What she told you is that you
don’t own your life. Looking good owns your life. And life is not about self-ex-
pression. You now know why there’s no satisfaction in your success. Looking
good is gratifying, but not fulfillment. You notice it’s never enough. Nothing is
ever enough. Nothing. Nothing leaves you whole and complete, nothing leaves
you full of joy. Because that’s not the name of the game. The name of the
game is looking good. It’s the only game in town. You are not living life. You
are looking good. Of course, some people look good by looking bad. A lot of
people look good by being the victim. For example, ...

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