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26Kid Party Clown

The kid party. Those of you who are parents know the (unnecessary) amount of time, effort, stress, and money that goes into throwing the perfect party for your children these days. Growing up, I only had one birthday where I was allowed to invite friends for a party. It was my seventh birthday, and I invited over five buddies. There was no bounce house, no magician, no DJ, no wanna-be-actor dressed like Twerking Elmo. Nope, just cake, ice cream, and my friends, and it was awesome. The biggest splurge we had was that the ice cream was Neapolitan, so I guess we weren't entirely guilt-free.

Not sure when all of this changed so drastically, but my first introduction to it was when my son Roman was three and got invited to his friend's birthday party in Pacific Palisades. The boy's father and I were also friends, so I had reasonably high hopes that the party would be a good time for me as well.

The backyard was decked out with all the necessary birthday accoutrements, including a Disney-themed bounce house. The open-air detached garage had an amazing sushi display, plus pizza and chicken nuggets for the kids, as well as the prerequisite vegan spread. Because it was L.A. after all, and God forbid your kid was the one labeled as “the boy who had no crudité at his party.” In the corner of the garage was where all of the moms were huddled, not because of the crudité, but because of the rosé. Yep, wine and a keg of beer, because nothing screams perfect three-year-old ...