Talk Less, Say More: Three Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen

Talk Less, Say More: Three Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen

by Connie Dieken
Released September 2009
Publisher(s): Wiley
ISBN: 9780470500866

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Book description

Talk Less, Say More is a revolutionary guide to 21st century communication skills to help you be more influential and make things happen in our distracted, attention-deficit world. It's loaded with specific tips and takeaways to ensure that you're fully heard, clearly understood, and trigger positive responses in any business or social situation.

It's the first book to deliver a proven method to master the core leadership skill of influence. Talk Less, Say More lays out a powerful 3-step method called Connect, Convey, Convince (R) and guides you in how to use these habits to be more influential. This succinct book solves your modern communication issues in today's demanding, distracted world at a time when interaction skills are plummeting.

Communication is the single greatest challenge in business today. It takes just 3 habits to conquer it. Talk Less, Say More will help you achieve more with less. Less wordiness. Less tune-out. Less frustration. You'll gain more time. More positive outcomes. More rewarding relationships.

Table of contents

  1. Copyright
  2. HABIT 1: CONNECT MANAGING ATTENTION: Give People What They Want and Value So They'll Tune In
  3. I. 10 SIGNS YOU MAY BE A WEAK CONNECTOR
    1. 1. Why Connect?: Attention Management
      1. 1.1. Engage or Be Ignored
      2. 1.2. Make It a Habit
      3. 1.3. Today's Make-or-Break Skill
      4. 1.4. Biggest Blunders: Self-Absorption and Aimless Schmoozing
    2. 2. Stay in Their Moment: Be Fully Present
      1. 2.1. Fully Focus on Their Needs
        1. 2.1.1. STAY IN THEIR MOMENT TACTIC 1
      2. 2.2. Be Right Here, Right Now
        1. 2.2.1. STAY IN THEIR MOMENT TACTIC 2
      3. 2.3. Listen for Intent
        1. 2.3.1. STAY IN THEIR MOMENT TACTIC 3
      4. 2.4. Avoid Code Red
        1. 2.4.1. FIVE TIPS TO STAY CONNECTED WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
      5. 2.5. Staying in the Moment with Difficult People
        1. 2.5.1. FIVE TIPS TO ACCEPT CRITICISM LIKE THE MASTERS
        2. 2.5.2. FIVE TIPS TO CRITIQUE WITHOUT DEFLATING OTHERS
    3. 3. Frontload: First Things Fast
      1. 3.1. Quickly Nail What's Relevant to the Listener
      2. 3.2. The Solution to Rambling
      3. 3.3. How to Frontload a Message
        1. 3.3.1. FRONTLOADING TACTIC 1
      4. 3.4. Nail the Big Idea
        1. 3.4.1. FRONTLOADING TACTIC 2
      5. 3.5. Choose Their PMOC
      6. 3.6. PMOC n. Preferred Method of Communication
        1. 3.6.1. FRONTLOAD TACTIC 3
      7. 3.7. Defuse Defensiveness
    4. 4. Goldilocks Candor: Get Ready to Rumble
      1. 4.1. The Right Level of Candor Is Crucial to Stay Connected
      2. 4.2. How to Use Goldilocks Candor
      3. 4.3. Smart Candor Improves Performance and Contributions
        1. 4.3.1. CANDOR TACTIC 1
      4. 4.4. Don't Demoralize
        1. 4.4.1. CANDOR TACTIC 2
      5. 4.5. Don't Sugarcoat
        1. 4.5.1. CANDOR TACTIC 3
      6. 4.6. Create a Candid Culture
        1. 4.6.1. HOW TO TAKE CRITICISM
  4. Connect 1: Connect Review and Action Plan: Engage to Manage Attention
    1. 4.7. Connecting Prevents Tune-Out
      1. 4.7.1. Stay in Their Moment
      2. 4.7.2. What Could I Improve?
      3. 4.7.3. My Action Plan:
      4. 4.7.4. Frontload
      5. 4.7.5. What Could I Improve?
      6. 4.7.6. My Action Plan:
      7. 4.7.7. Goldilocks Candor
      8. 4.7.8. What Could I Improve?
      9. 4.7.9. My Action Plan:
      10. 4.7.10. My Current Approach
      11. 4.7.11. Next Step
  5. HABIT 2: CONVEY MANAGING INFORMATION: Use Portion Control to Get Your Points Across with Clarity, Not Confusion
  6. II. 10 SIGNS YOU MAY BE A WEAK CONVEYOR: (And Where to Turn to Conquer Them)
    1. 5. Why Convey?: Information Management
      1. 5.1. Create Clarity, Not Information Overload with Messages
      2. 5.2. Com-mu-ni-clut-ter® n. Information Overload Caused by Being Bombarded
      3. 5.3. Biggest Blunder: Data Dumping
      4. 5.4. Are You Conveying or Confusing?
    2. 6. The Eyes Trump the Ears: Use the Dominant Sense
      1. 6.1. A Shortcut to Clarity
      2. 6.2. Don't Create Chaos
      3. 6.3. Why Do The Eyes Trump the Ears?
        1. 6.3.1. EYES TRUMP EARS TACTIC 1
      4. 6.4. Show Contrast
      5. 6.5. Contrast Proves Results
        1. 6.5.1. EYES TRUMP EARS TACTIC 2
      6. 6.6. Rethink PowerPoint
      7. 6.7. Don't Undermine Your Credibility
        1. 6.7.1. EYES TRUMP EARS TACTIC 3
      8. 6.8. Link It, Move It—Use the Social Media
      9. 6.9. Key to Using Visuals Successfully in the Social Media?
    3. 7. Talk in Triplets: Tap into the Trilogy
      1. 7.1. The World's Most Powerful Number
      2. 7.2. Blah, Blah, Blah. Yada, Yada, Yada.
        1. 7.2.1. TRIPLETS TACTIC 1
      3. 7.3. Preload Three Choices
        1. 7.3.1. TRIPLETS TACTIC 2
      4. 7.4. Think Narrow and Deep
      5. 7.5. The Accordion Structure
        1. 7.5.1. TRIPLETS TACTIC 3
      6. 7.6. Desired Choice First
    4. 8. Tell Stories: Gain Longer Shelf Life
      1. 8.1. Stories Inspire and Inform
      2. 8.2. Smart Stories Have a Longer Shelf Life Than Mind-Numbing Facts
        1. 8.2.1. STORIES TACTIC 1
      3. 8.3. Tell Success Stories That Feature a Positive Future
        1. 8.3.1. STORIES TACTIC 2
      4. 8.4. Think Simple and Spry
        1. 8.4.1. STORIES TACTIC 3
      5. 8.5. Deliver Stories with "Planned Spontaneity"
      6. 8.6. Portion Control: Manage Your Message so You Don't Bog Others Down
  7. Convey 2: Convey Review and Action Plan: Use Portion Control To Manage Information
    1. 8.7. Conveying Prevents Information Overload
      1. 8.7.1. The Eyes Trump the Ears
      2. 8.7.2. What Could I Improve?
      3. 8.7.3. My Action Plan:
      4. 8.7.4. Talk in Triplets
      5. 8.7.5. What Could I Improve?
      6. 8.7.6. My Action Plan:
      7. 8.7.7. Tell Stories
      8. 8.7.8. What Could I Improve?
      9. 8.7.9. My Action Plan:
      10. 8.7.10. My Current Approach
      11. 8.7.11. Next Step
  8. HABIT 3: CONVINCE: MANAGING ACTION: Create Commitment to Influence Decisions, Actions, Results
  9. III. 10 SIGNS YOU MAY BE A WEAK CONVINCER: (And Where to Turn to Conquer Them)
    1. 9. Why Convince?: Action Management
      1. 9.1. Influence Others to Act without Delay
      2. 9.2. Biggest Blunders Manipulating and Arm-Twisting
      3. 9.3. Create Commitment, Not Compliance
      4. 9.4. From "Over My Dead Body" to Yes!
      5. 9.5. What's Holding You Back?
    2. 10. Sound Decisive: Stop Babbling and Backpedaling
      1. 10.1. Sound Like a Wimp and You'll Be Treated Like One
      2. 10.2. Habitual Back-Pedaling Damages Credibility
        1. 10.2.1. DECISIVE TACTIC 1
      3. 10.3. Stop Tagging and Hedging
      4. 10.4. Habitual Tagging Sounds Wishy-Washy
        1. 10.4.1. DECISIVE TACTIC 2
      5. 10.5. Contribute to Meetings
        1. 10.5.1. DECISIVE TACTIC 3
      6. 10.6. Voice Your Opinions With Sincerity
    3. 11. Transfer Ownership: Create Commitment, Not Compliance
      1. 11.1. People Should Feel as if They're Volunteering, Not Surrendering.
      2. 11.2. Let Them Own It and They'll Do It
      3. 11.3. Do You Empower or Impede?
        1. 11.3.1. TRANSFER TACTIC 1
      4. 11.4. Use Peer Power
        1. 11.4.1. TRANSFER TACTIC 2
      5. 11.5. Reveal Your Reasoning
        1. 11.5.1. TRANSFER TACTIC 3
      6. 11.6. Let It Flow
    4. 12. Adjust Your Energy: Start Attracting, Stop Repelling
      1. 12.1. People Monitor You for Signals
      2. 12.2. Energy Boosts Likeability
      3. 12.3. Are You a "Red-Lighter?"
      4. 12.4. Influence People to Get Up and Take an Action Step
        1. 12.4.1. Energy Tactic 1
      5. 12.5. Your Voice
      6. 12.6. You Have a Skewed Perception of How You Sound
        1. 12.6.1. Energy Tactic 2
      7. 12.7. Your Face
        1. 12.7.1. Energy Tactic 3
      8. 12.8. Your Body
  10. Convince 3: Convince Review and Action Plan: Earn Commitment to Manage Action
    1. Convincing Prevents Delays and Inactivity
      1. Sound Decisive
      2. What Could I Improve?
      3. My Notes:
      4. Transfer Ownership
      5. What Could I Improve?
      6. My Notes:
      7. Adjust Your Energy
      8. What Could I Improve?
      9. My Action Plan:
      10. My Current Approach
      11. People commit and act promptly when I . . .
      12. People delay or reject my ideas when I . . .
      13. Why do I approach convincing in these ways?
  11. Putting It All Together: Connect-Convey-Convince®
    1. 3 Simple but Profound Habits:
  12. About the Author
  13. Acknowledgments

Product information

  • Title: Talk Less, Say More: Three Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen
  • Author(s): Connie Dieken
  • Release date: September 2009
  • Publisher(s): Wiley
  • ISBN: 9780470500866