There is a crucial difference between being caught upin a feeling and becoming aware that you arebeing swept away by it. Socrates’ injunction,‘know thyself,’ speaks to this keystoneof emotional intelligence: awareness of one’sown feelings as they occur.

Daniel Goleman

As with my first visit, I rang Sophie’s bell at the street entrance and was quickly buzzed into the vestibule. Sophie met me at the elevator, greeting me enthusiastically. Carmen was driving up with her husband who was going to drop her off for our meeting. They’d phoned to say they’d be a few minutes late.

Sophie’s living room was cluttered with archive boxes. “I’m moving some things over here from my office at the university,” she apologized. “I’d hoped to ...

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