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The ADHD Book of Lists: A Practical Guide for Helping Children and Teens with Attention Deficit Disorders, 2nd Edition by Sandra F. Rief

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7.8 What Kids with ADHD Need from Parents and Teachers

What Children and Teens Need from Parents

  • Their unconditional love and acceptance and to hear and feel frequently how much they are loved and appreciated
  • To know they are not deficient in the eyes of their parents—that the focus is on their strengths, not weaknesses
  • Reasonable and realistic expectations
  • Empathy, tolerance, and forgiveness
  • Positive attention and feedback
  • Support and encouragement
  • Clear limits and structure
  • Fair, clear, and reasonable rules and expectations
  • Monitoring, supervision, and follow-through
  • Positive and proactive rather than reactive discipline
  • Consistency and logical, reasonable consequences
  • Predictability of schedules and routines
  • Lots of reminders and prompts without nagging, criticism, or sarcasm
  • Praise and recognition for what they are doing right
  • To hear the words: “That was a good choice you made.” “Thank you for…” “I'm proud of you.” “I have confidence in you.” “I'm here for you.”
  • To be able to let down their guard at home and express their needs, thoughts, and emotions openly
  • To feel they have choices and are involved in some decision making
  • Help in understanding and labeling their feelings (“I'm frustrated [or disappointed or worried].”)
  • To have their feelings validated by parents' active listening
  • For parents to focus on important issues and downplay less critical ones
  • An emphasis on their own personal best efforts and self-improvement
  • Help with coping skills and feelings of anxiety, frustration, ...

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