13 • More Germ Warfare

“In fact,” Yusuf replied, “Avi will tell you that his most common justification style invites him to go soft.”

The group looked over at Avi.

“True,” Avi nodded. “Shall I share some thoughts about it?” he asked Yusuf.


“When we find justification in softness,” Avi began, “it’s usually because we’re carrying around a third basic kind of justification box, a box we call the need-to-be-seen-as box.

“It looks something like this.”


“When I’m carrying around this kind of box,” Avi said, as he finished up the diagram, “I might be worried about being seen as likable, for example. Such a box will keep me from being able ...

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