Chapter 2Enlarging and Balancing Your Circle

The Tale of Two Brothers

Two brothers were raised in a middle‐class home in a stable, loving family. Both played sports. Both graduated from high school. Both appeared to be living good and meaningful lives and seemed destined to continue on that path. But, appearances can sometimes be deceiving.

In college, the older brother chose to party instead of study. Soon his grades began to suffer and he found himself at risk of failing out of school. He hid his failure from his parents. When he was finally kicked out of school, he pretended he was still enrolled and continued to take his parents' money. His parents took on debt to support him.

When his lie was discovered, he came home and got a job. He really didn't like working any more than he liked studying. He found a girl who liked to work and married her. But she soon tired of supporting him, and they divorced. He moved back home.

Eventually he moved to another town and got a job. His parents hoped he was finally making something of himself. He married again and had two little girls. Unable to sustain success, he lost his job and hid it from his wife. He pretended to go to work but instead hung out with friends. He couldn't sustain the deception for long, though. His wife took the girls and left him. He moved back home again.

The older brother was stuck in patterns of self‐destruction. His efforts to improve his life repeatedly collapsed in on him. His Circle never grew and was unbalanced ...

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