The Communication Code

11Re‐Establishing Communication

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

—Albert Einstein

The prefix re‐ is an essential piece of the idea of re‐establishing communication. Re‐ means to back up and do something again. It means you get a second, third, or fourth chance to do something. Re‐ is a redo.

Re‐ can happen in

• resetting a relationship
• renewing a friendship
• repenting for past wrongs
• reviewing ways to improve
• rekindling a marriage, and so on

If you want to re‐establish communication, and for that matter, an actual relationship, then it might be helpful to ponder these questions:

1. Where does re‐ need to take place?
2. What needs to be healed in the relationship?
3. What specifically needs to be renewed?

Luke and Allison had been married for 10 years. They had two children and a comfortable life. They were happy in many ways, but there was a growing distance between them. They had stopped communicating as they used to do when they were dating. They didn't laugh as much, and they didn't talk about their dreams and hopes. They were polite with each other, but it felt like they were strangers living in the same house.

Luke was a successful businessman who had always been ambitious and driven. He worked long hours and brought work home. He had little time for anything else, including his wife and children. Allison was a kind‐hearted woman who had always supported her husband's career. But she had grown tired of feeling neglected and ...