Chapter Two

How People Approach Conflict

No two people approach conflict in exactly the same way. Furthermore, each of us handles conflict differently at different times, and our approach to conflict evolves over our lifetime. This seems obvious. What is less obvious, however, is how to characterize the complex and changing ways in which we respond to conflict and how each pair of people, or each group, develop their own style or pattern of conflict interaction—how they learn their conflict dance.

How we handle conflict is basic to our sense of ourselves, to how we try to make our way in life, and to how we relate to others. Our approach to conflict derives from what we have been taught about conflict, our experiences in conflict, our personality, ...

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