The Elements of Negotiation

ELEMENT 18Questions

I was once at a negotiation in Berlin when the counterpart asked, “Are there any questions?” One participant raised his hand and said, “I have doubts about the actual contents of your presentation.” The speaker immediately answered, “This question is about the gentleman's wish to discuss the validity of my facts.”

The answer the negotiator gave was incredibly humiliating, and what was otherwise a successful presentation developed into a real conflict situation between two losers. How should the negotiator have answered the question?

“The question is about the source of my data, which is …”

The problem in that situation was that the speaker felt personally criticized by the man asking the question. He felt he was being attacked in the situation, and his response was aggressive. Every day, conferences, seminars, negotiations, meetings, and training courses take place by the thousands, and included in these events there is usually a round of questions. Very often, the conclusion is the most informative part, as it provides participants with an opportunity to explore the content from their own standpoint.

The technique of asking questions, and preferably plenty of them, is one of the most important techniques in negotiations. When we ask relevant questions, we do it primarily to uncover areas that are not clear to us. However, we also ask questions to show that we are interested in what our conversation partner is talking about.

Without questions, communication ...