Appendixes

APPENDIX ACommunication Skills for the Exchange

KEY TOOL FOR STAGE ONE: EFFECTIVE LISTENING

The Exchange begins with effective listening. Most of us assume that listening is an instinct; it is something that we know how to do without trying. It’s also pretty clear that almost from birth we also want other people to listen to us. Babies cry to alert a parent that something is needed—a dry diaper or a mouthful of milk. And yet, it is also clear that some listening is not very effective. If you have or are familiar with children, you have probably witnessed a scene involving a toddler tugging on a parent’s leg or arm or anything “tuggable” and demanding attention. “Listen to me” is the unspoken plea.

If listening is not an instinct, ...

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