Chapter 5

Breaking Through the Shell

In the James Bond films the women are perfect, gorgeous, plastic dolls. James can have sex with them, but he can’t fall in love with them because they are not human. The only time their shells crack is when they get caught in the crossfire and killed. They even make perfect corpses. Sometimes spray-painted gold. It’s not that James Bond is incapable of loving someone. He loves M (when played by Judi Dench) and Miss Honeypenny and probably even Q, but no one could love these Bond babes. Not without cracks in them. By this point you know better than to write Bond girls, right? Good. I think in nearly thirty films James has only fallen in love once. If you know which movie that was, you watch too much Bond.

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