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The Indomitable Investor: Why a Few Succeed in the Stock Market When Everyone Else Fails by Steven M. Sears

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A Funny Aside

Jokes offer insights into people and places in ways that are sometimes more direct than analysis, or even conversation. Jokes reveal cultural mores. Here are two good ones told by stockbrokers.

A stockbroker dies. He gets the chance to visit both heaven and hell and then decides where he wants to spend eternity. He picks hell first. He expects to see demons with pitchforks, but all he encounters are beautiful women, great food, fine wines, and parties. Heaven is filled with little angels strumming harps. The stockbroker chooses hell. In a flash, he is standing before the devil. All around are fires and screams of torment. The stockbroker asks the devil what happened to all the beautiful women, great food, wines, and parties. The devil laughs. “That,” he says, “was the prospectus we use to sell hell.”

In another joke, a stockbroker dies and goes to heaven. There is a huge line at the Pearly Gates. The stockbroker walks to the front. He asks St. Peter if he can help get the line moving. St. Peter agrees. Suddenly, hordes of people start running toward hell, and the stockbroker is first in line.

“What did you say, my son, to get everyone to move?”

“I told them there was a hot-stock deal in hell,” the stockbroker said.

Suddenly, the stockbroker turned on his heels and ran toward hell.

“My son, my son, where are you going!” St. Peter yelled.

“To hell.”

“But why?”

“Because it might be true,” the stockbroker said.

Another Punch Line

Stockbrokers typically do not have fiduciary ...

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