The Living Trust Advisor

The Third Quarter Living with Your Living Trust after the Death of Your Spouse

As a Living Trust attorney, one of my main functions is to assist the surviving spouse in administering the Living Trust following the death of the “first spouse to die,” whom I shall refer to as the deceased spouse.

Dealing with surviving spouses is the second most gut-wrenching part of my job. (The first is working with clients whose children have died before them.) I remember Mrs. Abernathy, who said to me after her husband died, “Mr. Condon, I didn’t want to even think about my husband dying before me. I couldn’t imagine how my life would be without him. I really hoped I’d go first so I wouldn’t have to find out. But he’s gone, and I don’t want to do anything. I don’t care about my Living Trust. I just want to disappear.”

Mrs. Abernathy is not alone in her thinking. I have heard this refrain from many of my clients who similarly cannot bear even the mere thought of life without their spouse.

Like my mother. Esther was born and raised in Knoxville, Tennessee. She met my father in the resort town of Highland Springs, California, about 30 miles shy of Palm Springs. They met while playing Ping-Pong. After marrying my father a mere six months later, she quit her job as a filing clerk for the FBI. Supporting her husband became her main function. She lived that existence for 50 years, until in August 2006 my father died of lymphoma, a condition that he handled one way or another for almost 20 years ...