The Parental Leave Playbook

Chapter EightPhase 2: During Leave Overview

PHASE 2 IS when your whole world changes. Even if this isn't your first child, the addition of another child means everything is different now: your relationships, your roles, your mornings, your evenings, and everything in between. This second phase, while you are on leave, is when you get to exhale as you walk away from work, then settle into the home sanctuary you have been working to create with all your careful tone-setting, planning, and acknowledging in Phase 1. The touchpoints in this phase, as shown in the figure, focus on communication, self-advocacy, and flexibility to maintain that safe space where you can focus on and explore your new role as parent.

Your main objective for Phase 2 is to care for your new child and yourself, especially if you're recovering from childbirth, and to bond with your expanded family. This will include learning how to be a parent to this child and turning new practices into habits and family norms. When you think about planning for this phase, think about all the ways you can set yourself up to actually remember to inhale and exhale—repeatedly.

Prepare for All the Feels

Terrence and his wife Saoirse had spent five years struggling with infertility when they found out that they had been chosen to adopt two siblings. They had been eagerly awaiting this moment for years and flew out that ...