The Pause Principle

CHAPTER 5Focus on the Present Moment

Be fully present. Feel your heart. And engage the next moment without an agenda.

—Pema Chödrön

I had a client, Leena, who would wake up before her family and go outside for a walk or a run. She’d tell me how quiet it was in the morning, how nice it was to be able to hear the birds, watch the sun come up; she was filled with possibility and excitement for the day ahead. For her the mornings felt as if they existed almost in another realm, separate from the day and disconnected from the night. As if she found the moment for herself where time stood still, she could see easily, think clearly, there was no fear, worry, stress, anxiety—no little feet running around. Then as the day continued this mindfulness and present moment awareness would vanish. Just like that, she opens the door to her house, and it’s time to get herself and young kids ready for the day, off to school, and then she’s on to work. She’s a new partner in a law firm and has recently been losing her cool in meetings because of the pressure she feels to bring in new clients with big budgets. It’s not happened once but a few times now, and it’s started to affect how other partners engage with her. When I talked with Leena I reminded her of her morning moments, where there was a sense of suspension, a place of ease, presence, and connection, because this is the place we want to cultivate within heated conversations. Finding the present moment within difficult situations helps ...