The Pause Principle

CHAPTER 9SOFTEN Meditation Practices

Meditation makes the entire nervous system go into a field of coherence.

—Deepak Chopra

We’ve covered a lot of ground together so far. And if you’re still with me, I’m ecstatic you are because this chapter is a bit different than the previous ones. Up to this point we’ve been focusing on informal mindfulness practices you can do in the moment of a high-stakes conversation. Now, we’re going to be switching gears to a more formal practice of mindfulness. What I mean by formal is that it’s a practice we set aside time to do outside of the conversation itself. The formal practice of mindfulness is meditation, and meditation is both an ancient and modern technique that reduces stress and reactivity and helps us pause and take stock of the moment we’re in (McLean 2012).

You’ve likely heard about meditation, maybe dabbled in it, tried it and couldn’t stick to it, or possibly you made it work and already have a practice. Well, no matter where you fall on the spectrum, what I’m going to share with you here will give you a different lens through which to look at this practice and do the practice.

Whereas years ago there weren’t many scientific studies that showed the benefits of meditation, nowadays there are plenty. And what they show is that meditation changes certain regions within the brain, helping to improve memory and decision-making, and increases our ability to be compassionate and empathetic, and it also shrinks the amygdala, which is ...