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The Professional Woman's Guide to Conflict Management

Book Description

Indispensable tools, tips, and techniques for your workplace

  • Understand the physiology of conflict to successfully manage any conflict within the workplace

  • Expand your negotiation toolbox and learn to effectively use a wider variety of negotiation strategies.

  • Find out key information, self-assessment tools and action plans to overcome conflict with this practical how-to guide

  • Discover the best conflict management method in any given situation

  • Learn about gender differences and conflict behaviours

  • In Detail

    A practical handbook that uncovers the hidden dynamics of the workplace and teaches how to successfully manage conflicts.

    This practical guide will explore every aspect of workplace conflicts, from learning how to identify problems to deescalating and managing many different types of conflict and people. Develop your management style by discovering effective apology making, gain confidence as you apply your newfound negotiation toolbox to any situation. With self-assessment tools, action plans and key tips, this book is everything to need to expand your arsenal of conflict management, improving relationships and collaborations by studying these real-life scenarios.

    About the Author

    Elinor Robin, PhD, is a mediator and mediation trainer whose mission is to help men and women discover better ways to look at, respond to, and overcome their professional and personal conflicts. With wit, wisdom, and passion, Elinor brings her clients and students the benefit of her revolutionary spirit, vision, small business expertise, and extensive court system experience. She has mediated thousands of disputes and has developed a powerful method for analyzing and resolving the conflicts that we face within our families, workplaces, and communities. As a mediation trainer, Elinor goes beyond information sharing, engaging her audiences with candor and compassion. Her innovative training programs have prepared over 12,000 professional mediators to handle the conflicts they regularly face. To learn more about Elinor and how her 25 years of research and practical experience can help you, visit http://www.ElinorRobin.com.

    Table of Contents

    1. The Professional Woman's Guide to Conflict Management
      1. The Professional Woman's Guide to Conflict Management
      2. Credits
      3. About the Author
      4. Acknowledgments
      5. About the Reviewer
      6. Preface
        1. What this book covers
        2. Who this book is for
        3. Conventions
        4. Reader feedback
        5. Piracy
      7. 1. All About Conflict
        1. What is conflict?
          1. Case study
        2. Conflict physiology and the brain
          1. How to calm your reptile brain
            1. Deep or focused breathing
            2. Reading your body
            3. Meditation or prayer
            4. Journaling
        3. The victim, hero, villain dance
          1. The victim
          2. The hero
          3. The villain
        4. The conflict action plan
          1. Conflict truths
            1. The closer we are, the more likely we will rub against one another
            2. Spot it, you got it
            3. What, how, and ouch – the three categories of conflicts
            4. We all need a mediator – sometimes
          2. Conflict tips
        5. Self-assessment
        6. Action steps
        7. Summary
      8. 2. Women at Work
        1. Women and the new workplace
          1. Women, men, and conflict behaviors
          2. Case study
        2. Business partnerships
          1. Shared values
          2. Complementary skills and traits
          3. Sense of equity
          4. Growing together
          5. Proactive conflict management strategies
          6. Shared vision
          7. An exit strategy
        3. Friendship at work
        4. Romance at work
        5. Self-assessment
        6. Summary
      9. 3. Workplace Conflict in the New Normal – The Reasons and the Costs
        1. The costs of workplace conflict
        2. The reasons for workplace conflict
        3. Communication differences
        4. Communication tips
        5. Management styles
        6. Power – personal, positional, and perception
          1. The six sources of power
            1. Reward power
            2. Coercive power
            3. Legitimate power
            4. Expert power
            5. Informational power
            6. Referent power
          2. Power-balancing techniques
        7. Core value differences
          1. Self-assessment – your values
        8. Vision clashes
          1. Self-assessment – your life vision
            1. Step 1 – clarify your vision
            2. Step 2 – live your vision
        9. Summary
      10. 4. Conflict Management Styles, Strategies, and Methods
        1. What's your style?
          1. Avoid – the ostrich
          2. Accommodate – the doormat
          3. Combat – the ass-kicker
          4. Compromise – the equalizer
          5. Collaborate – the problem solver
        2. The conflict-management gamut – methods for managing conflict
          1. Conscious Conflict Ownership
          2. Negotiation
          3. Facilitation
          4. Mediation
          5. Arbitration
          6. Litigation
          7. Unilateral power
        3. The Lemon story
        4. Self-assessment
        5. Further reading
        6. Summary
      11. 5. Becoming an Expert Conflict Manager – Self-reflection and Skill Development
        1. Awakening your conscious conflict ownership
          1. The components of conscious conflict ownership
            1. Take a step back and reflect
            2. Don't take it personally
            3. Be aware of your physiology
            4. Keep moving forward, with heart
          2. Accessing conscious conflict ownership
          3. The benefits of conscious conflict ownership
        2. Becoming a master negotiator
          1. The negotiation process
            1. Individual planning, preparation, and analysis
            2. Rapport building
            3. Information exchange
            4. Concessions and compromises
            5. Resolution
          2. Mastering the negotiation process
            1. Attitude is everything
            2. Be ready to hear things that you don't like
            3. Do your homework
            4. Work with the other side, not against them
            5. Seek to understand the cultural and personality factors that may impact the process
            6. Be prepared for dirty negotiation tactics
        3. Learning to listen
          1. The five levels of listening
          2. Becoming an active listener
          3. The best listeners
        4. Self-assessment
        5. Further reading
        6. Summary
      12. 6. Conflict Conversations
        1. Difficult discussions
          1. Ten steps for difficult discussions
            1. Step 1 – prepare
            2. Step 2 – call a truce
            3. Step 3 – set the stage
            4. Step 4 – speak from the heart
            5. Step 5 – listen, listen, listen
            6. Step 6 – give yourselves time
            7. Step 7 – define the emotions
            8. Step 8 – be willing to apologize
            9. Step 9 – don't leave conflicts unresolved
            10. Step 10 – if all else fails, hire a professional to help you
        2. Conflict analysis and defining the real issue
          1. Defining differences
            1. Culture
            2. Communication
            3. Values
            4. Vision
            5. Appreciation style
        3. Fight smart, fight fair
          1. Pick your fights
            1. Who?
            2. What?
            3. When?
          2. My Fight Fundamentals:
        4. Magical apologies
          1. The power of the apology
          2. Crafting your apology
          3. What makes a sincere apology?
        5. Dealing with difficult people
          1. The bully
          2. The sniper
          3. The victim
          4. The fault-finder
          5. The know-it-all
          6. The cheater
          7. The dos and don'ts of difficult people
            1. Do
            2. Don't
            3. Remember
        6. Summary
      13. 7. Making Conflict Management Happen in Your Workplace
        1. Employee loyalty
          1. Employee-loyalty blueprint
            1. Set a good example
            2. Create clear boundaries
            3. Outline each employee's sphere of influence
            4. Show your employees that you are loyal to them
            5. Give your employees something to be proud of
            6. Do good deeds
            7. Reward your employees
            8. Cultivate peak performance
            9. Foster a team mentality
            10. Recognize and respond
            11. Build solid relationships
            12. Be yourself
            13. Remember the platinum rule
        2. Creating a conflict-management program for your workplace
          1. Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) and Internal Dispute Resolution (IDR)
            1. Establishing goals
            2. Gathering input
            3. Structuring the CMS
            4. Components of a CMS
              1. Hotline
              2. Open-door policy
              3. Senior-management review
              4. Peer review
              5. Ombudsperson
              6. Grievance procedure
              7. Conciliation
              8. Mediation
              9. Arbitration
              10. Management changes
              11. Appeals
        3. Day-to-day action points
        4. Summary
        5. The bottom line