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The Rules of Parenting, 2nd Edition by Richard Templar

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RULE 46

Let them back in

OK, so you’ve had a row with your child. Maybe you handled it well, or maybe not (you’re only human). But you’re a Rules parent anyhow, so it can’t have been that bad. Your child, on the other hand, was well out of order and sent to their room.

What happens next? This is critical, and I’ve made it a Rule because I’ve seen parents get this horribly wrong. Their child comes back downstairs, contrite, even apologetic, and their parent lays into them again about how badly they’ve behaved. Next thing they’re on the defensive, arguing back, and sent to their room again. Or maybe the parent just stops speaking to them for a while and goes into a sulk.

Either way you’re not allowing the child to escape from the bad feelings ...

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