In this book, we have been talking about the shift, the tremendous change in perception and relationships that occurs when we stop seeing people as objects and start seeing them as people. We finally have enough background to talk more about how the shift happens.
The bad news is, the shift isn’t something we can do automatically. It’s not like flipping a switch; we can’t do it just by wanting to or recognizing that we should. And often we find ourselves highly resistant to switching (I sure was) when our troubled relationships are complicated or strongly entrenched. The good news is, that doesn’t mean we can’t make it more likely.
If we see people as objects when we are self-absorbed, then the key to seeing them ...