The Tao of Self-Confidence

3Intergenerational Trauma and Why We Need to Talk About It

The traumas you carry are passed on from the historical trauma that your parents, grandparents, and ancestors also bore. A woman I met at a networking event told me that the traumas can go four generations deep. That is a big opportunity for self‐awareness that helps you move forward as a leader. In fact, this is one of the most important parts of your journey.

Jeanie Chang, who is a licensed family and marriage therapist and the creator of Noona's Noonchi, defines intergenerational trauma as: “…the trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience it to the following generations. The trauma begins with an incident or event that affects an individual or multiple family members.”¹

All your life, as an Asian woman:

• You are told to be the perfect daughter, wife, sister, mother, colleague, and friend.
• You are constantly compared to other people in your circle of influence, whether it's family or friends.
• You have been told countless times always to take care of everyone else.
• You are told never to share the traumas that you went through but to keep them to yourself.
• You are told never to share how you are feeling.
• You are told never to share your opinions.
• When something traumatic does happen, you are blamed for it, even if it's not your fault.
• You are constantly seeking approval from your parents, peers, and people of higher influence.
• You have been forced to do something that you did not want to do because ...