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The Terrible Leader by Dan White

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Plot for identikit fairy tale

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She was young, slender, attractive, and crucially, she was not a slapper (she had err... kept herself to herself, if you get my meaning). She was nice to animals and didn’t get drunk at the weekends. She was afflicted with one or more of the following ailments: evil stepmother, evil stepsisters, a curse that turned her into an ugly crone at night, frizzy hair, or general monsterism. In any case, one or more of these unfortunate ailments ended up placing her in a remote castle with barely adequate toilet facilities. It is unclear what the catering provision at the castle is, but it is plausible that forest animals bring berries.

The castle is guarded by a fearsome, ...

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