The Top 10 Distinctions Between Winners and Whiners

Chapter 1. Winners take responsibility. Whiners play the victim.

Let's face it: Life doesn't always go according to plan. In fact, it's been said that life is what happens while you're making other plans.

To become a winner in the face of this unpredictability requires that you balance two seemingly contradictory ideas. The first is best expressed by the expression "If it's going to be, it's up to me." The second is nearly the opposite: "What will be, will be."

These two statements sound fine by themselves—but when you put them side-by-side they contradict each other. And yet, taking either of these statements to the extreme produces negative results.

For example, let's look at the first statement: If it's going to be, it's up to me. Taking that philosophy to an extreme leads to arrogance and the perception that you don't need anyone. And the second statement? Taken to its extreme, the idea that what will be, will be leads to the role of victim, a person aimlessly drifting with no sense of control.

The truth lies somewhere in the middle. Winners seek to find a balance in life, and the balance point for these two statements is responsibility. Responsibility means that you do your best and trust that good will result. You can't always live in a state of what will be, will be, or you'll never take positive action. You can't always live in a state of if it's going to be, it's up to me, or you will think more highly of yourself than you should and become arrogant and judgmental.

These extremes—a ...