The Unlocked Leader

CHAPTER 3Find the Source of Your Mindtrap: Whose Voice Is It?

When the child tells him why he thinks he cannot find the path of roses, the old man sitting by the fire is dumbfounded. Only princesses on horses know the way to the path of roses? Who has ever heard of such a thing? “This sounds like nonsense,” he tells the child. “Who said that?”

The child has never been asked that question before. Everybody knows this to be true! So after thinking hard, the child explains he's read about it in books and newspapers, and he's heard it many times and from many people—his parents, his neighbors, his friends.

The old man cups his ear with his hand. “Who?”

The child repeats what he's just said. The old man shakes his head, a quizzical look on his face and his hand still cupping his ear.

“He only hears what he wants to,” says the old woman to the child.

“It's a gift,” the old man explains. “That way, I don't get confused and lose my way, because the only voice I hear clearly is my own.”

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All of us have absorbed and carry within us external voices that have shaped how we view ourselves, other people, and the world. These voices often live in our unconscious, working in the background like the operating system of a computer, influencing our behavior. Although their influence is often positive, they can also feed and perpetuate mindtraps. Once we have identified the mindtrap we want to shift, the next step is to identify and isolate the voice associated with it.

There are two main ...