Unwavering

CHAPTER 4Choosing to Lead with an Inclusive Mindset

“Nellie, I am trying to mentor a person of color, but I don't sense a great amount of interest or excitement in return.” This is a sentiment I often hear from executives who choose to mentor employees of color. Their perception does not surprise me. Many see mentoring as a way of doing their part in solving for equity and equality and helping their mentees reach new heights. They go into it with excitement, a lot of energy, and high hopes for the immediate impact they can make. So when those initial expectations go unmet, they may feel personally rejected or believe that their time is not being valued.

Then there is the other side of the relationship. As a person of color in a corporate environment, the mentee may feel guarded and hesitant about immediately divulging all aspects of their professional experiences or aspirations, no matter how essential communication is for building a mentor/mentee relationship. Two crucial questions typically come up for people of color when faced with this situation: Should I feel comfortable sharing? Can I trust this person? The answers to these questions influence our initial engagement—engagement that may be perceived as lack of interest or excitement by the mentor.

Many people of color were raised not to immediately trust people outside of our culture. We consciously or unconsciously adhere to the warning instilled in us to “proceed with caution.” So when someone attempts to penetrate ...