19Receiving Feedback
Receiving feedback is another aspect of communication. Feedback is essentially helpful information or criticism about a prior action or behavior from an individual, communicated to another individual (or a group), who can use that information to adjust and improve current and future actions and behaviors. It is an opportunity to grow and learn. So far, I have discussed several methods to give feedback so now I am going to discuss the best ways to receive feedback, because, let's face it, no one wants to feel like they are the reason someone feels bad, left out, or othered.
If you find that you're in the wrong, here are some things you can consider trying.
Ignore the Impulse to React and Embrace the Pause
When you receive feedback, no matter what your first reaction is, stop. It doesn't matter what it is. Just pause and let the emotion pass so you can collect yourself. Our premier communication tools are our emotions, so it is important to regulate them.
Think of a time when you reacted before reflecting—what was the outcome? What would have been different if you had reflected before reacting?
One more thing to reflect on is to remember what it was like to give someone feedback. We have all been in the position of giving feedback. It might have been to a family member, a mentee, a friend, or someone you worked with. Your intention most likely was to help the person or group. Thinking about it through this lens reduces your likelihood to get defensive and ...