Vertical Growth

12Eliminating team triangulation

‘If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything’

Mark Twain

Triangulation is defined by psychiatrist Murray Bowen as ‘a breakdown in communication between two or more people resulting in one or several of those people attempting to resolve/discuss the issues outside the confines of the parties to the communication’.

For example, suppose you and I are on a team together and we're not getting along. Instead of speaking directly to you, I complain about you to another team member in the secret hope that they might talk to you about your behaviour for me and resolve our conflict. This allows me to vent, feel better and shift the problem to someone else, while avoiding any direct conflict or recognition that I might be the one who needs to change my behaviour.

All too often the other team member will try to resolve my issue by speaking with you, but this inevitably backfires. In fact, triangulation creates more conflict, distrust and dysfunction. A consequence of triangulation is that a team's potential for vertical growth is squandered. People image manage and release their unresolved issues through sideways conversations, hoping to be rescued from challenging growth moments, instead of through conversations based on integrity and growth. And triangulation is not just confined to functional teams; it happens interdepartmentally and organisationally. It's rife in most organisations.

As long as triangulation is a norm in your organisation ...