Wealth of Wisdom

CHAPTER 6Tapping Character Strengths to Move Families Forward

Kristin Keffeler

The Byron family was sitting around the handmade walnut conference table at their enterprise headquarters. Mother, father, and three grown children. They were fidgeting and making jokes, trying to dispel their discomfort. They had never had a business meeting as a family before, and today's topic felt like a charged one: Were they ready to make the changes necessary to move from a single decision-maker—their father—to a collective of family decision-makers for their enterprise? Would their hard-driving father accept what it meant to share his power with his adult children?

Recognizing the need to help the family members move from fear and tension to curiosity and possibility, the presiding advisor asked each family member to consider a time when they felt they'd been at their very best in a family interaction. Each of the five family members became contemplative. Some took notes. Others got the far-away look of being lost in a memory.

The advisor asked each person to share their chosen moment. The family went around the walnut table, and each in turn described their experience. The resulting laughter rooted in their joint memories broke the tension. Every family member was engaged. When it was the patriarch's turn to share, he paused, looked down at the blank sheet of paper in front of him and said, “Honestly, I don't think I've ever been at my best with my family. I don't think they get the best ...