Chapter 6Gaining the Courage to Feel

We can spend our entire lives running away from certain memories, trying to avoid the pain they trigger. We commit vast amounts of energy and effort to trying to forget our painful past, but in reality, the pain associated with avoiding these feelings is usually far greater than the pain of confronting them. This avoidance can also manifest as something else in our future, something that doesn’t support us in leading a healthy, fulfilled life.

A few years ago, my dearest girlfriend lost her precious husband — a big, bold, and brilliant man, the father of her four children — in a farming accident. His sudden departure ripped their world apart, and their grief was torture to witness. During my visit, I overheard ...

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