Your Own Terms

Your Own Terms

by Yasmin Davidds, Ann Bidou
Released August 2015
Publisher(s): AMACOM
ISBN: 9780814436035

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Book description

When it comes to negotiation, there is an ugly double standard. As women, if we make concessions to further a deal, we're viewed as weak. But if we play hardball, we can be seen as overly aggressive—and the strategy backfires. No wonder most women hate negotiating.

In Your Own Terms, negotiation expert Yasmin Davidds helps women strike a balance, merging our natural strengths (collaboration, relationship building, listening) with a firm grasp of established tactics. Guidelines, stories, and exercises illuminate the psychology of negotiation and reveal how women can:

    • Control how they are perceived
    • Eliminate self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors
    • Discover their personal negotiation style
    • Envision the ideal outcome and map backwards
    • Build leverage
    • Understand an opponent's approach and adjust theirs in response
    • Deploy persuasion and redirection tactics
    • And much more

    Set the bar high and negotiate to get there. With this empowering book, women learn the skills to win on their own terms—and open doors they never knew were shut.

Table of contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Copyright
  4. Contents
  5. Acknowledgments
  6. Part 1: Own Your Game
    1. Chapter 1: Empower Yourself
      1. Transform How You Think and Feel
      2. Thirty-One Ways to Negotiate a Win-Win Solution
      3. The Keys to Collaborative Negotiation
      4. Discover Your Personal Values: Core Negotiation Principles
    2. Chapter 2: Your Style: Changes You Need to Make When Negotiating with Men or Women
      1. Navigating the Collision Course: Likability vs. Competence
      2. Leverage Gender Styles to Work Together Effectively
      3. The Impact of the “Entitlement Effect” on Male/Female Negotiating Styles
      4. Manage Your Impression to Avoid Backlash
      5. Three Ways to Counter Backlash
      6. Discover Your Personal Values: Identify Your Two Most Important Principles
    3. Chapter 3: How Not to Sabotage Your Negotiating Power
      1. Six Ways to Combat Inward Sabotage
      2. The Seven-Second Rule for Combating Outward Sabotage
      3. What You Say Can Hurt You
      4. Discover Your Personal Values: Give Your Beliefs a Stress Test
    4. Chapter 4: The Four Stages of Negotiation
      1. Stage 1: Planning and Preparation
      2. Stage 2: Opening the Negotiation; Setting the Tone
      3. Stage 3: Idea and Information Exchange; Moving to Agreement
      4. Stage 4: Closing Strategies That Ensure Commitment and Performance
      5. Discover Your Personal Values: Clarify Your Definitions
    5. Chapter 5: Determine Which Negotiation Style Is Right for You
      1. Five Comfort Zone Styles
      2. Style 1: The Avoider
      3. Style 2: The Accommodator
      4. Style 3: The Compromiser
      5. Style 4: The Competitor
      6. Style 5: The Collaborator
      7. Discover Your Negotiation Skills: Style Assessment
    6. Chapter 6: Manage Negotiations with the “Backwards Mapping” Technique
      1. Determine Who the Stakeholders Are
      2. Identify the Essential Issues
      3. Choose the Right Time
      4. Find the Right Approach
      5. Take the Right Steps at the Right Time
      6. The Backwards Mapping Technique
      7. Break Down Barriers
      8. Discover Your Negotiation Skills: Backwards Mapping
  7. Part 2: Build Leverage with Your Negotiation Toolbox
    1. Chapter 7: Offensive Maneuvers and How to Counter Them
      1. Defend Yourself Against Hardball Tactics
      2. Defensive Tactics for All Occasions
      3. Negotiation Is About Perception, Not Reality
      4. The Role of Experts in a Negotiation
      5. Discover Your Negotiation Skills: Name the Tactic
    2. Chapter 8: Power Moves for Handling Difficult People
      1. Dealing with the Intentionally Difficult Person
      2. Dealing with the Accidentally Difficult Person
      3. Dealing with the Unfulfilled Difficult Person
      4. A Planning Worksheet for Negotiating with Difficult People
      5. Discover Your Personal values: Sticking to Your Principles in Challenging Situations
    3. Chapter 9: Communication Strategies That Create a Level Playing Field
      1. The Role of Gender Attitudes Toward Winning
      2. How to Gain Control of a Negotiation
      3. What to Do When Problems Arise
      4. Test Assumptions, Broad Statements, and Mutual Understanding
      5. How to Make Acceptable Counterproposals
      6. Avoid Diluting Your Arguments
      7. How to Defend Against Gender Bias
      8. Manage How You See Yourself and How Others See You
      9. Discover Your Negotiation Skills: Know the Difference
    4. Chapter 10: Fail-Proof Persuasion Tactics
      1. Six Persuasive Tactics to Optimize Your Negotiating Prowess
      2. The Seventh Tactic—Reframing
      3. Build Rapport
      4. Keep the Focus on Your Goals
      5. Counter-Persuasion Techniques
      6. Discover Your Personal Values: How Well Do You Practice Integrity?
    5. Chapter 11: The Art of the Redirect: Managing Destabilizing Moves
      1. Counter the Sublevel Negotiation with Redirects
      2. Five Redirects to Counter Any Move
      3. The Case Against Counterattacking
      4. Choosing the Right Redirect
      5. Implement a Multiple Redirect Strategy
      6. Discover Your Negotiation Skills: Apply the Five Redirects
  8. Part 3: winning Game Plans: Negotiating with Power and Grace
    1. Chapter 12: Gender Intelligence and Negotiation
      1. What Neuroscience Teaches us About Gender Intelligence in the Workplace
      2. Gender Intelligence in Practice
      3. Discover Your Gender Intelligence: Leadership
    2. Chapter 13: How, When, and Why to Make Concessions
      1. Unnecessary Concessions: Those You Make to Yourself
      2. Necessary Concessions: Those You Make to Others
      3. The No-Fly Zone: Concessions You Should Never Make
      4. Maximize the Concessions You Accept: Getting Others to Concede to You
      5. Discover Your Personal Values: Testing Your Beliefs Under Pressure
    3. Chapter 14: Negotiating with the “Big Boys”
      1. Negotiation Mapping Model
      2. Know Your Stuff; Stand Your Ground
      3. Discover Your Negotiation Skills: High-Stakes Negotiations
    4. Chapter 15: Negotiate Your Way to Leadership Success
      1. Critical Points to Hit When Negotiating for a New Position
      2. How to Negotiate for Leadership Success
      3. What Organizations Can Do to Help Women Leaders Succeed
      4. Discover Your Negotiation Skills: The Path to Leadership—a New Position
    5. Chapter 16: The Real Test: Your Salary Negotiation
      1. Quick Tips: How to Maximize Your Salary
      2. Discover Your Personal Goals: Salary Negotiation
    6. Chapter 17: Put Your Negotiation Skills to Work
      1. You, Too, Can Be a Power Player
      2. You, Too, Can Handle Challenges like a Pro
      3. The Importance of Values to Negotiations and Leadership
      4. Discover Your Personal Values: Testing Your Ethical Boundaries
      5. Discover Your Personal Values: Identifying Your Leadership Principles
    7. Chapter 18: View from the Trenches: Lessons for Women as Leaders and Negotiators
      1. Women as Leaders and Negotiators: The Female Perspective
      2. Women as Leaders and Negotiators: The Male Perspective
  9. Appendix 1—Language of Negotiation
  10. Appendix II—Personal and Professional Checklist for Complex Negotiations
  11. Notes
  12. Resources
  13. Index
  14. About the Authors
  15. Free Sample from Who Says It’s a Man’s World by Emily Bennington

Product information

  • Title: Your Own Terms
  • Author(s): Yasmin Davidds, Ann Bidou
  • Release date: August 2015
  • Publisher(s): AMACOM
  • ISBN: 9780814436035