CHAPTER 1
TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT, WHATCHA REALLY REALLY WANT
The tears plopped into the foamy top of my Guinness. If you’ve ever been that 22-year-old crying in a bar, you know no one likes that girl. Not even that girl likes that girl. The whole place just wants to boot her sad, beer-tear self outta there so everyone can go back to playing flip cup in peace. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s rewind all the way back to 1½ pints ago.
I was ponied up at an Irish pub in Baltimore whining to my poor roomie about my boss, my dating life, my finances, my family—I was basically face-blast bitching at this poor gal to the point that she finally cut me off: “Erin! OMG. Stop. I get it: ‘Everything is wrong; something is missing; everything is disappointing’; ...
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