101 Tough Conversations to Have with Employees: A Manager’s Guide to Addressing Performance, Conduct, and Discipline Challenges

Introduction:The Rules of Engagement

To make employee turnarounds and epiphanies successful, there are a few key rules of communication to follow: First, remember that it’s not what you say but how you say it that counts. That may sound like an old saying that your grandparents taught you, but in the world of work, people tend to respond in kind: If you demonstrate respect and compassion, you’re likely to receive a similar response, even when dealing with the most uncomfortable and confrontational workplace situations.

Second, your greatest asset when dealing with others is guilt, not anger. Anger is an external response: When people are mad at another person, they look outward to voice their frustration. Guilt, on the other hand, is internal: ...