Advance

CHAPTER 5COPING WITH COWORKERS:The Good, the Bad, and the Utterly Annoying

We move now from the person in charge of your job to another workplace relationship: the one you have with your colleagues. Think about it. We sit around these people. We talk to them on the phone. We go to lunch with some of them. And then we go home and usually blab about them to anybody who will lis ten. Sometimes we treat them like strang ers, not even giving them the courtesy of a simple hello. But, strangers or not, you can’t afford to ignore colleagues. They have a bigger impact on your career, let alone your happiness, than just about anybody else in your life.

Their power is enormous. We’ve all written that email we wish we could get back, and it’s your colleagues who can decide whether or not to hit the dreaded forward button. Or perhaps you’ve inadvertently shown your anger during a meeting—it’s your colleagues who decide whether to gossip about that episode within earshot of your boss (which natu rally happens just when you’ve asked for a raise). They can decide to treat your presentation like a work of genius or pull the silent treatment during every word you say.

Simply through their own behavior toward you, or through side comments about you, it’s your colleagues who can be the grand arbiters of whether you are considered a good culture fit or a malcontent. And no matter how many jobs ...