All Pride, No Ego

3Don't Let Anyone Dim Your Light

“My only regret about being Gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my Youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don’t make that mistake yourself. Life is too damn short.”

– Armistead Maupin

I chose to start this chapter and my next learning based on this amazing quote by the brilliant creator of Tales in the City. Maupin perfectly summarizes my major personal regret as I review my life and that fear he references has impacted my professional career as well.

You see, although I suppressed my feelings and homosexuality in my youth, God had a different plan for me. I am effeminate, flamboyant, demonstrative, and have an odd and very female‐sounding voice. In my entire childhood and high school experience I was horribly bullied. Physically, mentally, emotionally tortured on an almost daily basis. I was called every hateful name in the book. The fear and intensity of the situation was almost crippling. In the 1970s and early 1980s, no teacher or administrator in Toledo, Ohio, was trained or equipped to handle the situation. I did not report anyone. The fact is there was no one I trusted to report anything or discuss this situation. What was I going to say anyway? What they were calling me, no matter how cruel and harsh, was actually true. I did not deserve the bullying, but I struggled with rationalizing it. How twisted is that? I allowed myself to be bullied and harassed because I did not love ...