All Pride, No Ego

10Authentic Kindness Is More Important than Being Right or First

I try to live my life in a state of constant gratitude. It is not always easy, and sometimes I slip into pity party mode, but I can usually snap myself out of it quickly. My final learning is about moving through life as a compassionate leader is the simple joy of being kind and supportive to yourself and others. It should be easy to do for everyone, but I have learned it is not always the case. Do not be hard on yourself. No one is perfect. You will be rewarded for your efforts, even if it is not about immediate feedback and gratification. Being queer does not automatically make you kind, and I know plenty of mean‐spirited people of all genders and gender identities. Believe me, I can be harsh and impatient and quick to temper, but I do try to move through life with a smile and a kind word for everyone. It is also true that I am competitive and I like to challenge myself and my teams. As I have matured, though, I realized how you achieve goals is as important, if not more important, than the actual result. Kindness does not equal weakness or passiveness; one should still be passionate and commit to fighting for what is right. My guidance is, however, to do it in a compassionate and caring way. I will always fight for and support what I believe is right, but I will aways lead with kindness.

I do believe that being insecure and seeking approval and validation as a kid made me overly sensitive to the needs and feelings ...