6

The Right Frame of Mind

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.

EPICTETUS

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YOU’VE POURED YOUR SOUL into these designs. You’ve taken all this time to think about your stakeholder’s perspective. Plus, you just spent the better part of your mental capacity listening to them talk about why your designs don’t work as well as you think they do. It would be tempting (even logical) to think that you’re cleared now to launch into an epic speech about usability and wax eloquent on design patterns and data, but you’re not. Before you go to the point of no return, you should get in the right mindset. You need to put on an attitude that will help you be articulate and get what you want. It requires you to give up control, check your ego at the door, and always lead with a “yes.” More than that, preparing to respond is about learning to be charming and avoiding replies that will only hurt your efforts. When you’re in the right frame of mind, you can set up your response by following a pattern called “Thank, Repeat, Prepare.” The purpose of this chapter is to help you be mentally prepared to take on the responsibility of using your own words to win people over. Crafting an effective response requires a bit of mental exercise to do well.

Give Up Control

If you’re familiar with twelve-step programs that help people overcome addiction, the first step is appropriate in our relationship ...

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