Breaking Through Gridlock

3

Know What You Bring

The hidden baggage of conversations

Over and over in our own experience, in our interviews with advocates, and in workshops with aspiring leaders, we see a recurring pattern. When we get fired up about issues that matter to us, we approach our conversations in a particular way.

Here’s a story from Jason’s experience:

Heading into the basement to grab something in our storage room, I notice that the lights are on. I grumble, flick the switch, and then head upstairs to the kitchen, where my wife is doing dishes. “Someone left the lights on in the basement,” I proclaim, arms crossed.

Freeze-frame. What is going on in this situation? What Jason has described here is the first moment of a conversation. He has conveyed things ...