8

The Biz

You may wonder why so many chapters in this book exhort you to work harder, commit yourself to comedy screenwriting, and, well, enjoy life less.

If you’re in the one tenth of one percent of all aspiring screenwriters who just happen to be closely related to someone who’s a big player in the entertainment industry, then—for Pete’s sake—put this book down and go schmooze that person now. Does he need a backrub? Give him a backrub. Does she like truffles? Buy yourself one of those truffle-sniffing pigs they use in Italy to find truffles and start searching.

Oh, and remember—you love his work. You always love his work. I’m talking about your close relative, the big player, not the pig.

But if you’re one of the ninety-nine and nine-tenths ...

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