The year is 2015. You find yourself resting on a beach in Maui, watching nearby youngsters zip along the boardwalk on their brand-new Segway Human Transporters. The sound of the ocean, ever so soft and reassuring, fills the air with its soothing rhythm. Your early retirement has treated you well—it’s not a bad lifestyle at all for having invented Cheezy Dew, the world’s first and greatest caffeinated cheeze drink (the lawyers require that cheeze be spelled that way for reasons we won’t go into here). It’s a great time to continue writing your third best-selling autobiography, "Cheezy Does It." You reach down into the icebox for a refreshing can of Cheezy Dew and grab your computer.

But what does it look like? Surely you aren’t holding ...

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