Secret #17
Raise the Limits on Yourself and Others by Imposing Boundaries and Structures
Children do not manage their own lives. They are governed externally by their parents. Their perception of what is and isn't allowed is dictated wholly by what their parents allow. As a child, you could not play ball in the street. You had to be in bed by nine o'clock. You had to finish your greens. You had to do chores, attend school, and say please and thank you. You didn't necessarily understand why you had to do these things, only that you did. Children are told what to do and not to do. To many a child, life seems defined by limits, demands, and requirements. They do not necessarily know the reasons for these external limits. As adults, parents understand the reason for imposing the rules. The rules are there to keep children safe and we, as adults, impose them because we know better.
But children are not the only ones that require explicit boundaries and responsibilities—adults do, too. This is because, paradoxically, the more confined and structured you are, the freer you are. By imposing structure upon your own life, you have a better understanding of the function of the rules that govern you. Many adults do not comprehend this because it is counterintuitive. You may ask, how can limitations provide freedom?
God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. Exodus 32:16 reads, “And the tablets were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God engraved upon the tablets.” The Torah uses ...
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