20. Married Puts

Evelyn Crouch: “Hey! I was waiting for that spot!”

Girl #1: “Face it, lady, we’re younger and faster!”

(Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times.)

Girl #1: “What are you *** doing?”

Girl #2: “Are you *** crazy?”

Evelyn Crouch: “Face it girls. I’m older and I have more insurance.”

—From Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

Married puts are the closest thing an investor can get to insurance. As Kathy Bates’s character, Evelyn, knows, you can take some risks when you have good insurance. Of course we aren’t suggesting you ram your car into the stock exchange six times, but the point is when you’re insured, you know the consequences of your investment actions in the event things don’t go as planned.

Have you ever thought, “Wouldn’t it be ...

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