Coaching for Emotional Intelligence: The Secret to Developing the Star Potential in Your Employees

INTRODUCTION

IWANTTOINVITEYOU

to join me in a personal journey of self-

exploration and discovery. This is a book about coaching people to

develop their emotional intelligence. You cannot approach this topic

as a coach without taking a close look at yourself and the life experi-

ences, beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and personal abilities that have

shaped the development of your own emotional intelligence.

There is an underlying assumption present in all coaching: that

the coach has developed deeper mastery of the knowledge and skills

of a topic than the person receiving the coaching. For most manag-

ers, this is no problem when dealing with the technical aspects of

the job. People get promoted and promoted again because they con-

tinue to demonstrate their insight into the knowledge, abilities, and

skills necessary to perform well in their chosen professions.

We must bring the same assumption to coaching for emotional

intelligence: that coaches have developed a higher level of mastery

of emotional intelligence than the people they are coaching. This

requires you to become a student of emotional intelligence and lead

the way by embodying the characteristics you want to develop in

others. This may strike you as an impossible standard to meet. In

truth, it is.

The mastery of emotional intelligence is a life-long journey. As

1

2

INTRODUCTION

you set out to learn more about how to coach for emotional intelli-

gence, it is important to bear three things in mind:

1. No one has perfect mastery of emotional intelligence. Each

of us brings to this topic our own unique blend of strengths and

characteristics that develop over a lifetime of experience.

2. As opposed to IQ that is fixed at birth, emotional intelli-

gence is fluid and constantly evolving. As we grow older, our emo-

tional intelligence continues to develop. Life experience shapes our

perceptions of ourselves, our personal discipline and character, and

how we deal with the interpersonal aspects of our lives.

3. This book contains Reflections, Skill Development, and Skill

Application exercises. These are assignments designed to accelerate

the growth and expression of your own emotional intelligence and

your effectiveness as a coach. While the book is focused on coaching

others, you cannot approach this topic without expanding your own

self-awareness and developing greater mastery of those aspects of

your emotional intelligence that present opportunities for growth.

Approach this book in the spirit of self-discovery. I’ve structured

the writing much as I would structure conversations we would have

if I were serving as your personal executive coach. Where appro-

priate, I will share some of the personal lessons that have been in-

strumental in my own development, not that I claim to be fully

evolved emotionally. I don’t know anyone who is. But the more we

study this topic and apply what we learn to our own lives, the better

we become at coaching others to develop their emotional intelli-

gence.

AN OVERVIEW OF EXERCISES

INCLUDED IN THIS BOOK

If all you do is read this book, you might pick up some interesting

information, but in the end, the time invested in your reading will