The first step in coaching clients through conflict is to support them in becoming aware of their own patterns and their typical reactions to conflict situations before exploring ways to work through differences and emerge with more creativity and resourcefulness for the future.
Invite your clients to be curious as to how they naturally react under pressure when emotions are heightened. What is their innate approach to conflicts with others? How do they deal with any conflict's underlying frustrations and the inevitable shifts of power and control? Do they naturally want to run away and hide, or do they want to fight their corner?
A tale of road rage
I was sitting in the window of a café in North London when the driver of a Range Rover parked clumsily outside, shunted into the back of a Mercedes saloon car, jumped out and walked up the road seemingly oblivious to the damage she'd inflicted.
She returned to her car at the same exact moment as the male driver of the Mercedes. At this point, a potentially murderous scene of confrontation and denial unfolded between two respectable-looking adults. He deftly captured her number plate and picture on his mobile phone. She began shouting and screaming at him. He stood bear-like in front of her vehicle. ...