Coaching with the Brain in Mind

CHAPTER 11

Pillar—Accentuate the Positive

Daniel Siegel (1999) tells a poignant story of a man who had trouble relating to his wife and daughter. Although he was a reliable and caring husband and father, he wondered if there was not something more. When Siegel asked how he was feeling, he was not quite sure. As hard and as often as he thought about it, he did not seem to be able to access his emotional side. Then he and his daughter went SCUBA diving on a vacation. There, deep in the ocean, they could communicate only using gestures. The man felt something stirring in his consciousness. He had not been able to trigger an emotional response by thinking or talking about it, but through physical gestures, he had a moment of delight in the underwater world around him. He also felt a connection with his daughter. This was the beginning of the uncovering of his emotional life.

What does it mean to be mentally healthy?

As we have pointed out, much of modern medicine and psychotherapy has assumed that mental health meant the absence of symptoms. Although ridding ourselves of disease must surely be a part of health practices, it is our contention that coaching has arisen as people realized that there must be more to being healthy than just not being ill. A new subdiscipline, positive psychology, is dedicated to studying just this topic. Both coaching and positive psychology are founded on the belief that people want more from life than an end to suffering. They want to lead meaningful, ...