Confessions of a Public Speaker

Chapter 8. The things people say

I’m in Sydney, Australia, in 2006, and I just gave what I think is a killer presentation. The audience laughed at my jokes and enjoyed my stories, and my points hit home. It could not have gone better, and I’m sky-high from the buzz. I hop off the stage and Cory, one of the organizers, tells me enthusiastically, “You were fantastic! Totally amazing!” I shrug it off as if I’m too cool to take a compliment. Basking in the warm glow of my own ego, I happily stand with Cory and watch the next speaker. Turns out, he’s bad. He’s dull and unclear, his points are a mess, and the audience looks ready to leave. I feel for Cory—I know how awkward it is to talk to speakers after they bomb. When the speaker finishes and exits the stage, he’s greeted by Cory just as I was. I can’t look, but I want to: it’s like a car accident happening in slow motion. And then I hear Cory say, “You were fantastic! Totally amazing!” The verbatim praise he gave me. Given the laws of physics in this universe, it’s impossible we earned the same score. Maybe I deserved an F and him an A, but no functioning brain could score us equally. In that moment, I learned that the things people say often mean something other than what you think they mean. In this case, “totally amazing” did not mean I was amazing at all. It was just a post-lecture encouragement Cory gave each speaker, regardless ...