Connect Relate Motivate, 2nd Edition

CHAPTER 6 Building the reality bridge

Life has a unique way of educating you when you least expect it. During one of my first visits to the United States in the earliest days of my speaking career, I gained a valuable insight into communication from the most unlikely source. While attending and speaking at a high-calibre conference, the most useful lesson I gained wasn’t from inside the conference venue but over a buffet breakfast.

I was seated in a corner booth that was almost as big as the buffet itself. My plan was to have a quick breakfast while I reviewed my notes from the previous day’s sessions before heading off to the conference for day two. I remember thinking that although there was some good content in my day one notes, there was nothing great there that would make the whole trip worthwhile.

After selecting from a range of fruit and cereal options (which placed me in a small minority, as the horde went straight for the angina section of the buffet), I resumed my place in the ‘Royal Booth’. A group of women now occupied the adjoining booth. I couldn’t see them, but I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.

One by one, they took their turn to share the challenges they faced in their lives. The topics varied widely, ranging from professional work demands to personal relationship issues and the pressures of raising children — even Y2K got a run. Yet it was the response each contribution received that really intrigued me. At no stage did any of the listeners ...