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Conversation Transformation: Recognize and Overcome the 6 Most Destructive Communication Patterns by Anita Simon, Amy Yeager, Ben Benjamin

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8Blame Games

Each of the communication problems we discuss in this book can wreak havoc on a conversation, but the most challenging of all is the one we’ve saved for last—the subject of this chapter. To illustrate, we’ll share the story of one of our SAVI trainees (we’ll call her Laura) as she faced what to all appearances was an impossible, no-win situation. Laura wasn’t dealing with a contentious executive team, a stalled contract negotiation, or an impending financial crisis. This was a much more formidable problem: an overtired four-year-old who had suddenly realized that she wasn’t going to get what she wanted.

What did this four-year-old (her daughter, Katie) want? What many four-year-olds want, all the time: to Do It All By Herself. On ...

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