Creating a Drama-Free Workplace

Table of contents

1. Cover Page
2. Title Page
3. Copyright
4. Dedication
5. Contents
6. Introduction
7. Chapter 1: Self-Defeating Habits of Otherwise Brilliant People®
   1. Hostility, stress, and depression are on the rise
   2. The price of contempt
   3. We used to be friends
   4. With hope, desire for connection overrides fear
   5. Hoodwinked by the bright lights of contempt
   6. Does this material stick?
   7. Three cultures at work
   8. What's the barrier?
   9. Thirty heart hassles a day
   10. Frustrations accumulate and amplify
   11. Two sources of energy
   12. Assumption, emotion, behavior
8. Chapter 2: The Stinky Twins: Blaming Others, Blaming Self
   1. Negativity bias: Our brains are nervous and cranky!
   2. Master of First Assumption
   3. Inflammatory thinking
   4. Fear triggers a tsunami of blame
   5. Predictable workplace targets and scapegoats
   6. Anger, hostility, impaired immune systems, and heart disease
   7. First Assumption: I'm frustrated and it's your fault!
   8. Second Assumption: I'm frustrated and it's my fault
   9. Chronic anger and fragile self-esteem
9. Chapter 3: The Reflective Assumption: A Pathway to Dialogue and Data
   1. The Roosevelt administration: Third Assumption—almost
   2. “BIBS”
   3. Connectedness—nature's antidote to stress
   4. Firefighters—courageous and connected
   5. The helper's high
   6. The benefits of appreciation and affection
   7. Emotions and the immune system
   8. Wealth and well-being: John D. Rockefeller
10. Chapter 4: The Triggers and Costs of Adversarial Factions
    1. Stage One: Disagreement and disappointment
    2. Stage Two: Avoidance
    3. Stage Three: “I need to vent”
    4. Stage Four: Adversarial factions form
    5. Stage Five: Negative speculation spreads and reaches the target
    6. Stage Six: Mistrust spreads to their groups
    7. Stage Seven: Elevate
    8. Stage Eight: Termination
    9. Stage Nine: From afar and in the bar
    10. Avoid these self-defeating mistakes
11. Chapter 5: Stories that Stick
12. Chapter 6: The Invisible Costs of Contempt
    1. Cost 1: Mind-boggling amounts of wasted money
    2. Cost 2: Problems multiply
    3. Cost 3: Partners in crime sell each other down the river
    4. Cost 4: Credibility suffers
    5. Cost 5: Resentment of First Assumption leaders and colleagues
    6. Cost 6: Blame turns potential allies into enemies
    7. Cost 7: Blame becomes an automatic response
    8. Cost 8: Blame demoralizes employees and destroys pride in work
    9. Cost 9: We risk being seen as hypocrites
    10. Cost 10: Accountability and standards decline
    11. No one is safe
13. Chapter 7: Strategies for Calming Others, Calming Self
    1. EASE: empathy, appreciation, search for solutions, explore
    2. Calming a colleague or direct report
    3. How to stop flooding: regret, awareness, choice
    4. Whom do you target at work?
    5. Flooding at home
    6. Settings or issues that set us off
    7. Techniques that stop flooding
    8. Raise the positivity quotient in your life
14. Chapter 8: Reciprocity: The Most Reliable Predictor of Behavior
    1. Our behaviors trigger the same in others
    2. Cycles of Contempt and Courage
    3. You are the center of your universe
15. Chapter 9: Five Root Causes of Workplace Conflict and Tension
    1. The five root causes
    2. Summary: Five Root Causes of Workplace Tension
16. Chapter 10: Open the Dialogue
    1. People don't change unless they feel accepted
    2. Hard on the problem, soft on the people
    3. A Template for Success
    4. Starting out
17. Chapter 11: You Can Be Successful or Self-Righteous
    1. Retaliation versus reconciliation
    2. The advantages of embracing this material
    3. As we age: Wisdom or ignorance?
18. Chapter 12: Create Cultures of Appreciation, Respect, Pride, and High Morale
    1. World-class appreciation
    2. Best practices
19. Epilogue: Transforming the Enemy
20. Acknowledgments
21. Bibliography
22. Index
23. About the Author