Crucial Confrontations

Introduction What’s a Crucial Confrontation?

One of my problems is that

I internalize everything.

I can’t express anger; I grow a tumor instead.

—WOODY ALLEN

And Who Cares?

When two Stanford researchers pulled up to a plywood mill in the foothills of northwestern Washington, they were surprised to see an ambulance parked out front. The harsh glare of the rotating warning lights set an ominous tone for the first day of what would become several months of research.

The two experts were part of a team of investigators who were studying ways to handle missed commitments and failed promises at work, at home, and at play. For instance, how should you confront an employee who is chronically late, a colleague who bad-mouths you behind your back, or ...